So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
