I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
