Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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