i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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