Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
