her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
