Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Two words: nipple clamps
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