with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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