when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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