i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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