So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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