this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
