I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
