6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
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he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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