I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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