Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
