I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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