Im at strip club and am horny
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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