if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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