if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
