I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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