called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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