i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
