What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
