I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
