I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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