Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
