my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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