Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
