I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
