i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
