Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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