3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
