these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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