I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
