Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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