Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
