After last night, I could never be a politician.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
