He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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