i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am available for nakedness
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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