Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts http://tfl.nu/cnqz
  Replies (12) Good night (3089) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL! http://tfl.nu/gtw6
  Replies (92) Good night (1762) Bad night (4259) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is http://tfl.nu/m53n
  Replies (87) Good night (517) Bad night (4564) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu
  Replies (15) Good night (3669) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb
  Replies (80) Good night (30843) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5284) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (82) Good night (33410) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention http://tfl.nu/alzz
  Replies (9) Good night (4123) Bad night (1146) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (5886) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): You can't have your penis and eat it, too. http://tfl.nu/3eoi
  Replies (14) Good night (2231) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.." http://tfl.nu/dapq
  Replies (10) Good night (2389) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm
  Replies (3) Good night (2038) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
  Replies (7) Good night (2246) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend http://tfl.nu/fcuo
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth. http://tfl.nu/pavc
  Replies (5) Good night (249) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt

Randomize