I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
