I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
