All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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