In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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