he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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