Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
