The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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