you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
