I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
