Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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