Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
