Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
COCAINE IS GR8
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
