No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
