dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
