We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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