THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
