The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
