Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
