bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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