hell yes lets make some ravioli
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
