I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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