Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
