Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
